Remarkable Resilience

The Emotional Aftermath of a Tornado

Killer tornadoes and other natural disasters have broken recent records in 2008. Following in second place to the year 1999, when The National Weather Service declared 669 tornadoes by mid May, this tornado season has produced 636 twisters as of May 11. If 2008 continues adding to the number of twisters produced, it could top the year 1950 with a record amount. According to USATODAY.com, that’s not the only record waiting to be broken this year.  Ninety-eight deaths have been credited to the twisters in 2008, making this year the deadliest since the 1998.

Who could ever predict the fear, physical destruction, and psychological turmoil brought by a destructive tornado?  The tornado passes.  Things are eerily quiet.  But like the physical chaos it leaves, the tornado also leaves emotional chaos in its wake.  Tornado survivors may feel powerless and out of control.  They may engage in self-blame, feeling that somehow they should have been able to prevent the injury, damage, or even death. They may become overly anxious, because this life event has shaken their assumptions about the safety of the world and the people in it. They can become depressed, feeling that their whole life is a mess and doubting that it could ever get better.

After the physical mess is cleaned up, the real emotional work begins.  Tornado survivors are faced with the ten choices I wrote about in "This Wasn't Supposed to Happen to Me."  They may still be in that early shock, the denial that says, "No way did this happen to us."  Yet deal with reality they must.  Though they were victimized by this weather disaster, they don't have to adopt the mentality of a chronic victim - complaining more than they act, engaging in serious self-pity, and looking for someone else to fix the problem.  No, they have to be "responsible," doing all they can with all they have where they are right now.

My prayers are with them.

Dr. Bev Smallwood

www.DrBevSmallwood.com

Can You "Catch" Trauma?

A recently-released study on post-911 counselors/social workers demonstrated what many mental health professionals (including me) already know.  Indeed, trauma is contagious.  Listening empathically to the stories of survivors can produce secondary trauma symptoms in the listener.  My favorite term for this phenomenon is "compassion fatigue."

http://health.usnews.com/usnews/health/healthday/080502/911-counselors-at-risk-for-secondary-trauma.htm

Would-be helpers of all kinds - friends, family members, certainly therapists, pastors, teachers - need to be aware that you don't emerge unscathed from hours and hours of listening to traumatic stories.  If you give a darn, you "feel with" the traumatized individual.  (Empathy can be both a blessing and a curse!) As a result of experiencing their pain, you can actually develop symptoms of PTSD or other anxiety disorders.  As the impact of the vicarious experiencing of horrific events grows, you may feel you have to protect yourself emotionally.  Quite understandably.  Yet, if you're not careful, you can harden yourself, become cynical, or avoid those you really care about.  You begin to lose yourself and the emotional talents which make you a wonderful helper. 

The message here is, helpers must not give, give, give until they are depleted and injured themselves. Helpers can minimize compassion fatigue by:

1.  learning to set boundaries, so that you have time and opportunity to rest and recuperate;

2.  varying your activities, not spending the lion's share of your time in intense conversations with traumatized people;

3.  taking care of yourself spiritually, physically, and emotionally;

4.  consulting with colleagues to get a perspective and to guard against the tendency to assume too much responsibility for the pain of others.

Helpers, taking care of yourself while taking care of others is one of the most unselfish things you can do.  After all, if you are to continue to be a compassionate giver, you have to be reasonably well yourself!

Dr. Bev Smallwood, Psychologist, Author, This Wasn't Supposed to Happen to Me! 

Taking Care of Yourself - Sometimes Difficult!

It's been a struggle this week, beginning with a sore throat Monday, escalating to laryngitis and the general "crud."  I finally relented from my determination to push ahead and cancelled all activities that called for voice Thursday, in anticipation of a speaking engagement on Friday.  I made it through that with an understandable voice, then all came back on me with a vengeance.  Last night was a tough night, and I can barely speak above a whisper today.  I'm trying to "be good" and recover today, as I don't want to miss the class I teach at church for women in recovery.  I don't want to let anyone down.

The week before was a very stressful one, with a three-day speaking trip and various crises at the office.  You know, the old body responds to such stress with a diminished capacity to fight off germs. 

I don't know about you, but it's very hard for me to stop and rest.  I feel such a responsibility for the people for whom I try to make a difference. I teach resilience, yet sometimes I break the rules myself - and I pay the price for it. The truth is, if we don't take care of ourselves, we will have nothing to give to others.

I was reflecting this morning on the 23rd Psalm - "He maketh me to lie down..."

Sometimes that's exactly what one should do - and that's the best thing I can accomplish today.

Do you have trouble "lying down?" 

Dr. Bev Smallwood